Page Twenty                                 (copy)

sehnen posted on May 05, 2008 | views: 141 | Tags: poetryx, do not thinkx

it’s monday, 5 may, 2008    greenfield



Number 24


You took away
the love I gave and got.
You want me living loveless.
Maybe you think
your tablets are just as good.
You took away the love
that was my guide.
You want me living aimless.
Maybe you think
bumhood is all I deserve.
Or maybe you think
that one like me,
one so out of synch with average,
so at variance with
people-bla-bla bullshit,                                                                                                  
shouldn’t be alive at all.


I’m alive.
I breathe, my heart bangs.
I am a biology.
But what will you
poke or prod or prick
to see if my soul is living?
What do you think loveless means?
Could be
you don’t think at all.    

here to poetry links

Not much else to say, really. So much was so frozen for weeks. I guess it was a kind of mental shock. Grief, memories came in spurts. But now it’s constant. Now it’s thawed.

Update 29 May 2009: That is the crux of what was done to me: all the love I received in this world was taken from me, and everyone to whom I gave love. I have lived a loveless life for more than 14 months. You really can’t count Matthew’s love for the time that he felt it: it was love of such poor quality. And yet the hope that his love would turn out to be better than it looked was there for a number of months. The hope that there was some love yet to know. But no sale. His love was/is self-involved and uncaring.


read…   Shadowpoems…   Lucked out

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