judah — suite blue

Page Fifty-one

sehnen posted on Jun 14, 2008 | views: 121 | Tags: slaughtering sweetnessx

sat 14 june 2008   Greenfield

Steven Stills. Suite Judy Blue-Eyes. Referring to Judy Collins. I’m old. I know this tidbit, I remember that song. I remembered it when I was presented with a little Siamese-mix kitten in September 1994, my only cat ever with blue eyes. I believe it was my kid again, not me, who chose the name Judah. Once so named, and having blue eyes, I coudn’t resist using Suite Judy Blue-Eyes as one of her nicknames.

Judah was 13 and a half when she was taken from me on 12 March 2008. She was of the sealpoint type of Siamese, and had the color range in her hair from cream to a very dark brown. Aloofness, privateness was the only “typical” Siamese trait she had. While it’s typical for Siamese to be vocal, Judah was quiet in the extreme and rarely spoke. She was, in fact, so quiet, that often I’d go looking around the apartments when I hadn’t seen her for hours, hunting her out to make sure we still had her. She was neither demanding nor antsy, like many Siamese. 

                                    blue eyes with red camera-flash pupils

She came to us when she was five weeks old, dumped by someone into the back seat of my friend’s car. She still wanted and needed a mommy, and she found one in my old mama cat, who was the most motherly female cat I’ve ever known. She even mothered me, from day one. Ditto for baby Judah, and she loved it. Sadly, Maman only lived another month, and Judy kitten was left motherless again. She evaluated the other cats and eventually chose a grown-up to cuddle up with, but I’ve forgotten now who it was.

In late 1995 I mated Judah with one of Maman’s sons, but he belonged to someone else, so this mating had to be set up. We’d had several deaths in Maman’s family besides her, and I wanted more of them. Maman’s line was very, very special. It’s not looks I’m talking about. It was nature, it was sweetness. Anyway, four of the nine cats stolen from me in March were Maman’s grandchildren, and the “shelter” slaughtered three of them.

Judah never knew (or did she?) that her hubby and her children were also blood family to that old mama cat she’d loved when she first came to us. But I knew it. And whenever I looked at Judy’s kids through the years, I would think of how their mama would cuddle up as a tiny cat with their grandma, who was only a month from dying.

The last time I ever saw Judah, she was in her carrier in the oily garage of a very oily and unholy priest (may he rot in that hell he believes in). She was being very vocal that day. Crying to me to take her home and end all the anxiety, the strangeness. And crying out to her daughter,with whom she had remained very close over the years. The night before, the daughter and three other cats had been allowed — by two intellignce quotient 40 turners falls trolls — to escape into the adjacent garage, which was full of crap, and no one had yet caught them. Judah was crying on one side of the dividing wall, while her daughter cried on the other. The separation that had been brought about by the mental midgets the previous night turned out to be forever.

Update 26 June 2009: Judah. Supposedly put into a foster home with Mandy, but I was never told where or allowed to visit. Judah, whom I loved and took care of from her babyhood in 1994 until March 11, 2008. Judah, who was taken from me and hidden by the conniving and underhandedness of state employees who are paid to “help”. Is she still alive?

The bulk of my grief has been so delayed by all the upset last year created by the things Matthew told me about my life, and by the long-lasting shock the theft of the animals put me into, that I’m grieving now in the way I should have a year ago. I’m feeling the crushing totality of the loss that I should have felt a year ago.

I love you as big as the sky, Sweet Judy blue-eyes, and despise the humans who took you from me, among them that multiple-personality, delusional landlady. I didn’t get to see you to the end.

(part of the book Stolen Stars)

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1 Comment

  1. May 12, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    […] Judah was 13 and a half, and Chan had recently turned 12 when they were both taken from me. Shiloh was first cousin to Chan, and also, of course, to Judah’s other two children, Chailin and Ziidjian. Judah’s the Siamese, and the black and white one gazing sadly out the window is Chan. I say sadly because it was hard for my cats at our last address on Millers Falls Road in Turners Falls. It’s a very busy street and I was too afraid of them being hit to let them out. Some of my cats had always gone outside when they wanted to, but Chan was one who’d pretty much always been an inside cat. And yet he would sometimes look out the window sadly like that.  ~~~ Read a little about Judah […]


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