Another loaded day

Page Fifty-seven

Wednesday 30 June 2010             Turners twisting

            Wednesday 2 July 2003   a very black day for me and the animals
            Wednesday 4 July 2007   the last 4th of my own life
            Wednesday 2 July 2008   Matthew tells me people want to harm me


Another loaded day, full of echoes and shadows of dark things on summer days. Triggers of trauma. Memory that picks at the scabs of those days, making them sore and red, infected with the loss, the meanness, the uncalled-for casual cruelty of humans.

It happens from time to time, a loaded day. So today is another. I wish all that pain in my scabs today returned to you a thousandfold: returned to the alchy landlord, Nookie, and his chick; returned to the insane landlady and the insane mafia-chick (and all her cohorts); returned to Matthew Lacoy; returned to Shirley Temple at the DMH. I owe you all a debt of suffering. If I could pay that debt with my thoughts alone, I’d be doing so this moment.

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 (sandcastle at


Whips, Chains and Satan’s Children

Page Fifty-six

Wed 9 June 2010

Yeah, yeah. Another brand-new post. This one’s for two specific people, which the rest of you are free to ignore. You won’t understand the references anyway. I apologize that I sometimes have to make these specifically-directed posts, but there are certain earthling carbon-and-water-based units with whom I can only communicate through blog posts — I have no other form of access to them.

So Judith: I see that you and Marcus now have this clandestine little business arrangement. Does M. know about it? I saw M. the other day, and maybe the next time I see him, we’ll have to have a little chat. You know, even when I can’t get a good look at his back, I know there are whip marks on it. I’ll have to check out Marcus’ back too, the next time I see him, and I see him fairly frequently. Now I know that frequently is a big word. Do you know what it means? Then I’ll tell you: it means almost the same as ‘often.’ And I’m sure you can handle that one. Anyway, I know I’ll find those nasty whip lashings on his back too.

Do you still have that wretched cat you never took care of? Just for your information, the word moulin is not pronounced moo-lawn. If you can do nothing else for the poor beast, you could at least pronounce her name right. I understand that it’s a challenge, that your general ignorance and your substance abuse make it difficult for you to pronounce even the simplest English words, much less French ones. But you might exert yourself a bit for the sake of the cat.


And to the rest of you — after all, as soon as you ask a person to ignore something, that it’s not intended for them — they suddenly want to pay attention to it all the more. Well, knock yourselves out, but I assure you that only Judith and Marcus and M. will know what I’m eluding to.

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(necklace at





Page Fifty-five

June 4 2010

Haven’t got back to the copying yet; this is yet another new post. Did it on Soulcast and linked to it from the Mafia Chick page of my website. But soulcast has become so erratic again that I sat there and waited and waited for the linked page to appear, it didn’t, and I got fed up and just copied the whole bloody thing here.

Another Soulcast Rantcast

edit delete

sehnen posted 8 days ago | views: 43 | Tags: me toox, $$$$$$x, 666x, rantingx, linkx
Wednesday 26 May 2010           Turners turning deader
What I want to know is this: Why do the spam blogs even make it into the first few Featured Posts pages? They should be relegated to the end, so that on the first several pages we can find only other real bloggers to read. Why the spam on the early pages? Do these spammers peddling their wares pay Brian Ree and company to appear on the first few pages, where the real bloggers should be?
And here’s another rant. This one’s about Turners Falls.
Well, now it’s the second of June, and it’s become necessary for me to address some comments a couple of people have left me. While I have looked at copsunite’s blog once or twice and found nothing there I can relate to, I’ve never looked at the blog of satanx. But once in a great while these two show up here and leave me some kind of lunatic fringe comment. I don’t know who they are, or if they’re the same person with two blogs, but I don’t expect to be troubled by them again. There’s always the possibility that the satanx blog belongs to Judith, the mafia-chick, particularly in light of this most recent comment: I still own you. That’s exactly how she always behaved: she owned the whole house, the whole yard, the whole neighborhood, the disturbed landlady, and she owned me. And of all the truly insane people I have ever encountered, she is the most insane of all. But whoever satanx is, it’s no one I’m interested in. I haven’t wanted to ever use my block option on any website, believing that anyone at all is free to come to any of my journals and disagree with me, as long as they do so civilly. But the lunatic fringe is another matter, and comments like I own you are totally unacceptable and uncivil.
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