longing

Page Two

tuesday 16 feb 2010…    turners falls falls

Sehnen is a German word that means longing, or to long. Longing, extreme longing, was one of the things I was feeling when I began the original  Sehnen blog. Longing for my animals.

I used a fake name because everybody else on Soulcast had done so. Some months later, I decided I wanted to use my real name for my newer blogs, but the name Anne was always already taken. So, I’ve chosen my blog names often for my animals.

Here’s the second Sehnen post from 10 April 2008:

I went to them for help, and the help I wanted most was to find me a place I could afford where I could have my animals, or at least half of them. I had 14: nine cats, three birds and two dogs.they were my whole life, my world. maybe you think that’s weird, but that’s okay.there are lots of lifestyles out there that I think are nuts, but everyone gets to choose for themselves what makes their life worth living. for me, the biggest thing was the animals. they were all rather old, and they’d been with me since they were babies.

So in march of 2007, when my landlady (controlling, self-centered and delusional herself) began an illegal eviction process against me (I paid my rent every month), I went to the massachusetts department of mental health (hell) for help. and they helped me so well that I sit here at this computer in a library, homeless for one month, my animals scattered I don’t know where, because no one will tell me the same story twice. at least three cats have already been killed (on march 24) by an animal “shelter,” one of them because “he wasn’t very friendly.” Well, he wasn’t MEAN either, and he was friendly to ME.

It isn’t a feel-good story, this story of how thoroughly my life has been torn apart by this huge bureaucracy that was supposed to help me.

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all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008 – 2012 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved.